Shang: Why thinking women become the ‘insufferably female’ split-personality wackos they - at times - are.

(The Lovers by René Magritte)

So, my university has this thing called the ‘Women’s Room’. It is literally a place where only women can enter with the exception of males under the age of 12, filled with couches for the tired woman to sleep on, tables for the hungry woman to eat on and library for the thinking woman to abuse. Every now and then, I go there and expose myself to a plethora of feminist literature. Book topics – all of which are obviously related to women – range from anthologies of sexual politics to heart-felt novellas. Whilst reading these books and partaking in incessant discussion with friends, the feminist phrase ‘a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle’ transformed from an amusing punch line into an enigma. I began to wonder, am I living in a generation where modern women question how feminist they can be before being called a closet lesbian? I mean, to what degree is feminism practical for the straight woman? At the end of the day, a straight woman without a man is a very lonely fish. Female companionship - as rewarding as it is - can only offer so much. Even the most feminist of heterosexual women begins to crack as they age, their biological clocks ticking like a time bomb.

In order to avoid a mid-life existential crisis of such, we must pose the question, how feminine and feminist can we be without being the 50’s housewife and more importantly, without compromising dignity? Well, most single heterosexual women are happy creatures who subconsciously believe they are the prototypes of the 70’s female liberation. It is drilled into the mind of the common sensible woman that life consists of your education, career and man (in that order). If that is not your life plan then you are depraved and deprived of female autonomy, that, or your parents didn’t raise you very well.

These days, during the stages of pursuit, women often think to themselves - Shit, he probably thinks I’m fucking bi-polar! One minute we’re hot, next minute we’re cold, the independent woman refuses to succumb easily. Therefore, she will counteract the time she has wasted on him by using it as an attempt to demoralize him (because that’s what he’s doing to her and he doesn’t even know it!) Ladies and Gentlemen, that is essentially how thinking women become the ‘insufferably female’ split-personality wackos they - at times - are! She will ignore him, insult him and bash his ego only because she fears a compliment may be seen as a sign of weakness and explode his worthy head. After all, he is the indulgent distraction that could potentially throw off her life plan, something the female population has been working at since forever!

Ultimately, the stakes of adding a male symbol into the female life equation are rather high. What a woman needs to ask herself is - is the sod even worth it? The day she figures that out is the day she experiences nirvana in its truest form.